How To Keep Anxiety From Affecting Your Children

When parents feel anxious, their children may also experience intense emotions without understanding exactly what is going on. Today, we will talk about how you can deter anxiety from affecting your children. 
How to keep anxiety from affecting your children

Children imitate what they see in their parents… our signs, our words and the things we do. If you shout, your children will shout. If you read, they will read. And, if you are scared, they will also feel this anxiety and act according to these feelings. That’s true, even if they do not really understand what’s going on or why you’re scared. In this article, we will help you deter anxiety from affecting your children.

Children can feel when their parents are anxious

It is normal for children to detect when their parents are anxious and imitate it. Children are very much in sync with their parents’ stress levels, and they are more likely to suffer from passive stress than we often realize. Their brains are still evolving and  they are very sensitive to environmental stressors – including their parents’ behavior. 

In fact, studies have demonstrated that even when children do not experience a stressful situation themselves, they receive this energy from their parents. The more anxiety the parents feel, the greater the stress and anxiety there will be in their children. In other words,  it is very easy to pass on your anxiety to your children, even without realizing it. 

Our children’s brains are like mushrooms. They admire us, imitate our behavior, and provide clues about their own safety according to our behavior and the things we say.

When your children sense that you are worried or anxious, they begin to feel insecure around the world. Similarly, when parents show healthy ways to deal with intense emotions, they  can teach their children that they do not have to be fearful or anxious. Instead, they can see it in the face and fix it. 

woman thinking

Do not let your anxiety affect your children: Learn to deal with your fears

So, what can you do next time you start feeling anxious? First and foremost, acknowledge and accept your feelings. Do not try to fight them or ignore them. If you do this, it tends to just aggravate the symptoms and make your anxiety even worse. Remember, anxiety is just a feeling, just like any other. 

Instead of trying to escape from your anxiety, learn to face your fears and overcome them. The best way to deal with anxiety is to stare it straight in the eye. Anxiety is a learned behavior, so you can also unlearn it by putting yourself in touch with your fears over and over again until it disappears.

Do not let your anxiety affect your children: Doubt your anxiety

Be realistic about your anxiety. Ask yourself:  What is the worst that can happen? Is it likely it will occur? It helps you challenge your thoughts and realize how unrealistic and unlikely your worries are. At the same time,  it is important to find a technique that helps you deal with what is happening. E.g:

  • Breathe:  Deep breathing exercises are a great strategy to help reduce the level of anxiety. Activate your body’s relaxation response. Try to inhale while counting to four, then count to four again as you exhale. Repeat this several times.
  • Find a safe place for yourself. Many people also find it helpful to stop what they are doing and find a quiet place. A few minutes of silence with your thoughts can help you restart.
  • Find a distraction:  When you feel anxiety, your brain gears up and your thoughts begin to accelerate. It is important to get out of your head and slow down the pace of your thoughts. You can perform certain activities that will distract your mind and involve the logical side of your brain. For example, you can listen to a podcast, count numbers, or tell a story.
daughter who is worried about her mother
  • Find activities that are oriented around goals. If you have enough time, you can focus your attention on a meaningful or goal-oriented activity. It can be something as simple as washing your clothes, going to the cinema or taking your dog for a walk.

Talk to your children about what is going on and what you are experiencing

If you lose control and start stressing around in front of your kids, talk to them about your feelings. Show them that it is common to feel anxious and, moreover, that it is something you can deal with.

Let your children witness that you address your anxiety and practice strategies to deal with it. That way, they will be more likely to adopt the same positive behaviors.

This teaches them that it is okay to feel anxious and that they can handle the situation. As a result, they will feel more comfortable and safe to explore and play in the world around them.

When raising children, it has a lot to do with teaching them how to deal with things they cannot see. Show them that facing irrational fears and overcoming them is better than expressing them or trying to escape .

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