Do Children Behave Worse In The Presence Of Parents?

In this article, we will provide an in-depth study of this topic, and try to explain the shift in this behavior.

Although it can be heartbreaking for many mothers and fathers,  this type of situation happens often, and for a myriad of reasons. This is especially true when parents leave their children with their grandparents, uncles, aunts or even nannies.

When the children return, the parents are ready to hear how badly their children have behaved, or about the tantrums that occurred when the food did not suit them. However, they often find that none of these things actually happened.

In fact,  the evaluation turns out to be brilliant and that the children have behaved impeccably. This is where parents begin to question things, including their own parenting skills.

Why do children behave worse when their parents are present?

Reasons why children behave worse with their parents

First of all, we need to consider that the bond that exists between a mother and her child is unique. Therefore,  the child will be able to express his feelings more freely and openly with her, than anyone else. 

This means that children can keep their behavior a little more in check around people who are less familiar than their parents.

Furthermore, there is also a need for attention which cannot be ignored. Through advice, regrets, and even bad behavior, children get what they always strive for: their mother’s attention.

It can even include negative attention as very bad behavior is met with insults. However,  a child who constantly reacts outwardly, to get his mother’s attention, is not a natural behavior. This is something that requires quick fix.

Do children behave better with their fathers?

Another typical element is the fact that  children often behave better with their fathers than with their mothers. 

There are many theories around this topic. One of them is that they spend less time with him, which motivates them to enjoy it more. Another claims that mothers “impose less authority.”

In reality, however, it has a lot to do with what we have already talked about. By being the person closest to them,  the mother becomes one that children can fully trust. 

This makes them, of course, feel that they have a right to demand what they want, in a way that they would not do to anyone else.

Mothers are people children turn to when they need something. Furthermore, if something bothers them, seems unfair or makes them uncomfortable, they will surely let her know.

Bad behavior can become the method of choice when dealing with these situations.

How do you deal with children behaving badly?

Now that we’ve looked at the causes, one question remains. How can parents handle these situations? The following suggestions may help those in this situation.

Offer them time and attention

The first step towards establishing a healthy relationship with your children. Spend time with them, help them with their homework, and, of course, have fun together.

Another way that may prove useful is to let them be a part of the decision-making process. Often, children behave worse with their parents because they do not get the space they need.

With that in mind, it may be a good idea to ask about their opinion when buying clothes for them, choosing meals, or choosing leisure activities. That way, they will feel valued and heard.

Check your reactions

If you get into a power struggle with your children, you only make the problem worse.

It’s an even worse idea to tell them that they’re only behaving badly with you, and it may make them think they have a way they can manipulate you.

Instead,  keep calm, and make some peaceful resolutions whenever a conflict arises. Maintain a positive and proactive attitude.

If children behave worse, then maintain your authority

The two previous recommendations do not mean that you should just accept bad behavior. You need to establish clear boundaries, and explain that there is no choice but to accept them  and that tantrums will not lead to anything good.

While it is good to stick to open negotiation on certain topics, there are others – such as homework – where there is no choice. While it can be a challenge to get your child to understand, you have to.

It is normal to see that children behave worse when their parents are nearby. The important thing in these cases is to give them an appropriate and prompt response. 

That way, you will avoid unhealthy wear and tear on your relationship with your children.