How Can We Control Our Anger?
Anger is a feeling that arises when we find ourselves in a situation that makes us frustrated or that we feel is unfair. It’s a basic feeling and it’s normal to get angry from time to time. This is especially the case when you are a mother or father. It is fundamental to know how to control one’s anger when raising children and ultimately for our overall well-being.
According to Maria José Bosch, the more we think about what has caused our anger, the more reasons and justice we will think we have for being angry. Therefore, it is crucial to know how to control, understand and channel anger to have a better quality of life.
How can we identify this feeling? What does it consist of?
Anger: a basic feeling
Emotions have many different definitions:
- Involuntary impulses
- Reactions to environmental stimuli
- Cognitive and neurochemical processes
They can even create changes in our body such as sweating or agitated breathing.
However, a good definition of this feeling is given by the psychologist Daniel Goleman. For him, an emotion is an emotion and the thoughts that characterize it. This is affected by the mental and biological conditions that affect it, which causes our body to react in a certain way.
Emotions are messages that our body sends to deal with and respond to any given situation. Anger belongs to the group of basic emotions along with happiness, sadness, reluctance, fear and surprise and it is a necessary survival mechanism for our body. So how can we deal with our anger?
Our anger is released by our thoughts and emotions, and it creates mental and neurochemical changes that then cause our body to react in a certain way. However, there are also a number of conditioning factors that have an impact here such as personality and the sociocultural context we find ourselves in.
How we can control our anger: identify the emotions
Identifying our emotions is crucial to our well-being, and it is a fundamental tool in our daily, social interaction. If we can quickly see that certain situations make us angry, then it will not surprise us and we will be able to redirect and deal with our emotions more effectively.
People experience emotions in very different ways. It depends on our character, the situation we are in, as well as our own past experiences.
To identify which situations make us angry, we first need to understand and analyze ourselves and find out what things are irritating or frustrating us. That way , we begin to confront a situation we have identified as “high risk,” and then we will be prepared.
Some signs that may warn us that we are about to explode can be found in the physiological signals that our body sends us. If you are able to recognize these signs, then you will also be able to take reservations to control your anger:
- Restless breathing
- Nausea or generally upset stomach
- Muscle stiffness, especially in the shoulders
- Sweat
- Tightened jaw or clasped hands
Another of the most visible and detectable signs we can find is our thoughts. Constant, negative thoughts will only act as fuel for the fire of our emotions and increase the risk of an outburst of anger.
4 ideas to deal with and control our anger
Accept emotion
First of all, we have to accept the fact that this feeling exists. There are always fundamental reasons why we have these feelings. In the case of anger, we often express it when we consider something to be unfair. As a result, if we suppress or inhibit this feeling, then it can affect our self-esteem.
Identify the feeling
The first step to being able to control our emotions is to identify them. Knowing and acknowledging that we are angry and that something is irritating us and making us uncomfortable helps us identify the feeling and regain control over our decision making. So how can we control our anger?
We can control our anger by finding peace
When we are angry, calm is the best weapon. If we continue to fuel our anger, then we will try to justify our actions. Because of this, although it is a very obvious solution, calm is the best way to stop the wave of anger.
Great opportunities are to run or go for a walk, take a deep breath, do an activity that makes us relax or just go to a quiet place.
Reflect on what has happened
That’s really important. Reflecting on what has happened helps us learn from the experience and to deal with anger in the future. Issues such as; “Why was I so angry”, “How do I want to solve it?” or “Can I do something about it, or should I just let it go?” will all help you analyze the situation and understand yourself better.
According to Bosch, anger, like sadness, is a feeling that feeds itself. This means that the more you think about the reasons that make you angry, the more angry you will become. It will only make the flames bigger if you go through the situation in your mind. As a result, you will find even stronger reasons to be angry.
Anger is an emotion that activates our defense-attack mechanism, and it creates negative thoughts, some purpose is to cause harm or destruction. It is true that it is a basic feeling and that it can be counterproductive to inhibit it. If we can not control our anger, then it will end up destroying us and harming those around us.
