Never Talk Bad About Your Children’s Father

A divorce is not the only time when one parent may speak ill of the other. In fact, it can also happen if one parent is not a part of the child’s life, or even if the couple is still together. But if you talk badly about your children’s father, it can actually hurt them. Therefore, it is something you should avoid for everything in the world.

If you feel that your partner is betraying you, it is normal to feel an uncontrollable desire to express your anger. But you must not make your children a part of it. Your priority should always be to protect them and keep them healthy and happy.

Love and be loved

For children, family is the center of their lives. Mom and Dad are their role models and their safety nets. Through the love and trust they give, they shape their personality and open them up to the world.

Children need to be able to love without feeling guilty. In addition, they need to be unconditionally loved by their parents so that they can develop on an emotional level. The family is their safe and happy place, which gives them confidence and which encourages them to explore new places.

It is a stable place where one can recharge the batteries and plant solid roots that let them grow up without fear. Family is so important that we have to do everything in our power to make it harmonious and happy.

Let your children love their father – even if you do not love him anymore

Circumstances are not always perfect. Maybe their father was never part of the picture, or maybe you got divorced. If you are still together, conflicts and quarrels can arise that can affect your relationship.

All of these circumstances are a part of life. As adults, we need to come face to face with them in the best possible way. However, it is obvious that this must never affect the well-being of your children. However, it can have different effects depending on how the adults around them behave.

Maybe your children’s father (or mother) has not had the best behavior, or maybe he has hurt or betrayed you. Maybe you also made a mistake as a parent yourself. It is quite normal that this makes you angry and annoyed.

But you have to go through your own emotional process to be able to forgive. Your first priority should no doubt be to protect your children. This also includes protecting the father’s vision and the bond he has with his children. Children need to love their father and to feel loved by him. They need this as much as they need it from you.

What happens when you talk badly about your children’s father?

When you speak ill of your children’s father, you are stealing a fundamental part of their development. When you tell them that their father has disappeared because he does not care and because he does not bother to spend time with them, children do not understand that it is not their fault. They think it’s their fault. Your children will begin to feel that they are not enough, that they mean nothing, and that they do not deserve love.

When you say, “You are like your father” or “Your father is a bad person, irresponsible and selfish” , you put them in a very difficult position. They will feel compelled to choose side and they will feel guilty for loving their father. In fact, they will feel a great void in their little world. They will no longer feel stability and harmony, but hatred and confusion.

You may feel that your children need to know what their father is like and that you must not lie to them. Therefore, you think they have a right to know the truth. But the reality is that they have the right to be children. They have the right to feel loved and safe. They should not be exposed to situations that are not for children. As they grow up, they will know, understand and acknowledge what they went through from a different perspective. At the moment, just let them grow up in healthy and safe and environment.