Perinatal Grief: A Mother’s Painful Disorder

Today we need to take a closer look at perinatal grief. The death of a fetus during pregnancy is a deep, painful experience for mothers. Perinatal grief is a very sensitive subject, especially because it is often ignored and the necessary treatment is not given.

They can be useful to know the implications of perinatal grief from the parents’ perspective, so that one can take into account the emotions that arise from this type of loss.

In this article, we will share aspects that turn perinatal grief into one of the most painful forms of suffering that a mother can experience. It is still an unknown form of grief, for people who have never experienced such a loss.

What is perinatal grief?

When we talk about perinatal and pregnancy pain, we are talking about the death of a child. Perinatal loss is when death occurs during conception, birth or even the first weeks of the baby’s life.

Our blood can freeze to ice by just thinking about it. Unfortunately, this kind of loss is usually ignored. It is given little importance and is silenced by the environment when in reality it is as painful and inexplicable as any other loss.

Perinatal grief is usually framed under “unauthorized grief”. Behind this frame there is heartbreaking crying.

Statistics show that this is a frequent reality; 10,265 abortions are recorded each year. That’s a small number, but not for those parents who were planning a life with their baby.

Perinatal grief: Painful details that many people ignore

Many parents are told about the death of their baby in the womb through a sonographer. They are then left to fend for themselves.

Then the most shocking part happens: the baby’s “birth”. The parents have no choice when it comes to this procedure. 

It is a shame that there is no legislation in this regard anywhere in the world. That is why the social authorities are turning their backs. They refuse to cover certain examinations and services for the deceased baby.

What do people think is the most painful part? What happens next is that the mother is admitted to the maternity ward, where her grief is confronted with a carnival. 

She needs to hear other babies crying and she has been carelessly and involuntarily placed in an environment full of joy while everything she sees is gray.

Spain is a leader when it comes to this topic. There are still maternity wards that ignore perinatal grief. But in more advanced hospitals, the “circle of grief” has been created.

It was created to avoid mixing the parents who have just had their healthy babies with other parents who have just lost their children.

Overcoming perinatal grief

Life and death live in the same place under perinatal grief, and it leaves a void in the parents’ memories.

Specialists recommend that parents validate these memories by storing things in a box that reminds them of their child: Scans and symbolic things that are a testimony to the grief and that will one day heal their pain.

Other experts emphasize the importance of doing a farewell ritual. When dealing with perinatal loss, there is usually no way to arrange a funeral.

But it is recommended that you keep a symbolic farewell: Go to a special place, write down something of importance, or a memorial gesture such as planting a tree.

When it comes to grief that is minimized to the environment, then every parent needs to find a way to deal with their grief, deal with it properly and finally overcome it.

There are occasions when parents “self-medicate” using psychological drugs. This can hinder and even derail the normal grieving process.

Make society wake up

Did you know that millions of babies die every year around the world, leaving their families in mourning? According to statistics, the number of intrauterine deaths is greater than deaths caused by both HIV and malaria combined. 

At the same time, these losses generate perinatal grief that can have psychological effects that can last for decades.

Did you know that society today is still not aware of perinatal grief? Due to the lack of knowledge, no one is talking about the babies dying in the mother’s womb.

The grieving process is always normal after a loss. But perinatal grief has specific characteristics that make it different.

But it is still considered unauthorized grief that is ignored and minimized. This means that the grief that parents go through is not publicly recognized or socially expressed on many occasions.

The attention of society will be aroused when there is no longer any silent crying or sorrow in silence.