Quarrels In Front Of The Children Are A Big Mistake

In this article, we talk about the negative consequences it has for the children when quarrels arise in front of them. Parents often have  quarrels in front of their children without thinking about the harm it causes. First, children are too young to understand what is going on. The result is that they experience a negative emotional response to this external stimulus.

As parents, we sometimes forget that our children are not old enough to deal with adult problems.

In other words, we believe they have the tools and maturity to handle these situations in a healthy way. But they certainly do not.

Children can easily misinterpret tone of voice, sudden movements and other types of nonverbal language that occur during quarrels. This even applies to small babies.

Although children do not always understand the content of their parents’ quarrels, these situations still produce negative emotions.

Dialogue and the importance of communication

Discussions and communication are a normal part of any relationship. It may actually be a sign of the couple’s mental health. But all this depends on the type of discussion and the level of aggression.

It is always good to tackle any problem without getting agitated or having a negative impact on those around you. Children can get quite scared when shouting and using rude language during quarrels.

Many consequences are involved when parents quarrel in front of their children. First, you are giving your child a negative relationship model.

Your behavior also makes rules and restrictions seem ambiguous to your child. These situations can also be very confusing and overwhelming for such young minds.

The consequence of quarrels in front of the children

When children experience that their parents quarrel, they receive a negative relationship model. Children are like mushrooms and they constantly suck information from their environment. 

When you quarrel in front of the children, you indirectly teach them that this is how you solve differences.

Your children will observe whether you understand each other or not. They notice respect, or lack thereof.

If you interrupt each other, your child will learn to do the same. The same applies if you avoid eye contact. Your children follow in your footsteps, and your behaviors will form their behavior pattern and personality at an early age.

Another consequence of having quarrels in front of the children is that the rules and restrictions you have established become ambiguous. Ideally, parents should be a united front and work together as a team when it comes to setting rules in the home.

Young children cry, and begin to question what it is the parents say when they disagree. Eventually, they become unsure of who to obey. They can also learn to manipulate their parents to their own advantage.

Quarrels in front of the children are also harmful as it makes them ask themselves whose side they are on.

Children should never feel the need to be a judge, or to have to mediate for their parents. It is not the child’s job to be a judge or to choose sides. Both parents are equally important to a child.

It’s okay for your children to know that you have your disagreements and that you need to talk about them. But the children should never have to choose side, nor should they know the details of the quarrel.

Quarrels in front of the children leave lasting injuries

One of the most painful memories that children can have is without a doubt when they have witnessed tension between their parents. For children, parents are there to look after and protect them.

When these two crucial figures in the child’s life begin to shout and hurt each other, the child feels scared and vulnerable. 

Development and Psychopathology magazine published a study conducted by the Steinhardt School of Culture, Education and Human Development at New York University.

According to research , it can shape children’s emotions negatively when they experience aggression between their parents.

The researchers performed their observations for 58 months. They realized that children who were exposed to higher levels of aggression at home had difficulty identifying and regulating their own emotions. 

Their observations also showed that the ability to identify and control one’s own emotions is associated with the development of emotional intelligence. 

A child who experiences aggression between his or her parents will have difficulty processing emotions such as sadness, being left behind, and fear.

When children are unable to cope or process these emotions, it causes them to develop symptoms of anxiety and depression in the future. 

We know how important it is to be able to identify and express our feelings in everyday life.

Depriving our children of that ability can lead to serious problems in the future. It is therefore best to have quarrels in private where the children are not present.