The Traffic Light Technique Helps Children To Control Their Anger

We see children crying in public every day and kicking and screaming at their parents for various reasons. Maybe it’s even our own children who have this impulsive behavior. If so, the traffic light technique may be the solution you have been looking for.

When the emotional volcano erupts, we often see parents react incorrectly in two different ways. Some parents take an even more irrational stance. Others are more indulgent and let their children manipulate them. Clearly, none of these reactions are correct.

But what if there was a method to help our children control their own outbreaks? Good news! This is exactly what the traffic light technique is all about.

Red, yellow and green: Every light has a meaning

This method of self-control is about showing our children a graphical representation of their emotional state. Each time there is a problem, we explain what phase they are in and what this entails.

Let’s look at what each color in the traffic light means:

• Red: Your child is inflamed with anger, and if he does not change attitude, it will have consequences. If your child does not stop, the consequences must be implemented. This is the moment when we show the child the color red.

• Yellow: It’s time to think about. Your child is agitated but still has not lost control. This is an alarm state where we can still inspire our children to care.

• Green: The child is in dialogue, gives and receives explanations about what he wants. If your child continues in this calm state, we show him the green color and congratulate him on his self-control. In this phase, we can suggest our child solutions to the problem and also give him encouragement.

How do I get started?

One day when you notice that your child is agitated, describe the traffic light technique. You can tell your child that you are tired of punishing her and therefore you will introduce this new procedure or agreement instead.

Then you hang a traffic light made of cardboard or cardboard on the wall.

You can cut out red, yellow and green circles and place on the traffic light one at a time, corresponding to your child’s emotional state.

You can also put them all on at the same time and then point to the one who in a given situation represents your child’s condition.

It is good to use this method, even when you are away from home. Depending on your child’s emotional state, you can tell her what color of traffic light she is in.

Some considerations about the traffic light technique

We can use this method with children up to 5 years. The idea is not to control the child through punishment, but rather to orient the child in such a way that he can manage his own steps of anger.

Your child will get enough time and warnings before things get out of control.

The purpose of the traffic light technique is simple: Children should learn along the way to control their level of impulsivity.

The color will serve as an illustration to help them think before moving on. This equates in some respects to counting to 10 before losing control.

This method obviously requires time and focus from the parents. You may even want to take advantage of more relaxed moments and playtime to get your child to identify the levels of impulsivity with colors.

The technique is similar when we teach our children colors and numbers.

Benefits of this technique for self-control

• Learning in relation to emotional intelligence is more didactic and practical. This is without a doubt far more effective than becoming aggressive or becoming just as angry as our children. When we lose our composure as adults, we send vague signals to our children.
• With the introduction of this technique, we give our children the chance to become aware of their own character; it is a learning opportunity. The activity will also help your child change her own behavior.

• The rules will be very clear and the child will internalize the ability to self-administer her emotional state. For this technique to be effective, parents must, of course, act as examples and be patient enough to explain it. The goal is for our children to become adults who can think about and be self-disciplined.